"I" wasn't there…
That consciousness that identify with « I », when we speak, travels in and out of that physical spaceship that has been gracefully gifted to us to experience existence from a dual standpoint in this life time.
The immature form of “I” is deeply affected by the transformations of our physical body as it is partially identified if not totally to its ship.
Simultaneously, “I” rarely inhabit what it believes to be its container.
In fact, “I” is so obsessed by its own individual existence and survival, that it becomes completely blind to the unavoidable inclusive reality of its own body, others bodies, the Earth’s body, the Cosmos’ body…
If “I” isn’t home inhabiting the physical body, it is exactly as if an airplane would be flying without a pilot. The aircraft doesn’t always need a pilot on board, especially when it is resting, recharging for its next journey (equivalent of body sleeping while ”I” is travelling in astral-dreams-) but it definitely needs one when it flies otherwise it will crush.
There are some obvious situations that makes us realise that “I” wasn’t there. In fact although they’re pretty scary they’re actual blessings because we can’t but admit that “I” completely left; that straight-out awareness opens a direct access for “I” to be back home.
Most of the rest of the time we feed ourselves with illusions, pretending we are here in this body, on this planet, part of this existence, when we’re actually empty shells or actual kamikazes, exploiting those inclusive manifestations of existence, unconsciously giving away our own ship(s) to the mercy of anything and anyone but us.
Few days ago, “I” had one of those obvious and insightful scary moments, awakening from a colonoscopy (in which I’ve received sedatives), convinced that they didn’t start the examination yet when it was actually over!
“ What???
You’ve penetrated my asshole with an in-tube camera up to my colon, did biopsies of my intestines and I have not a single memory of it???
Where was “I”? ”
This intrusive feeling left me in deep contemplation the whole day…
“I” wasn’t there…
How many times in the past “I” haven’t been there... leaving my body, the body of this Earth and of this Cosmos in a constant state of alert, expecting to “crush” and to be damaged.
When “I” comes back home, its perpetual need for survival defuses, “I” relaxes so deeply that it dissolves and melts within its container, in its turns dissolves into a bigger one, etc… to infinity.
IS “I” HERE ?